NOTE FROM PUBLISHER (WHOEVER THAT IS): I wrote this post on May 4th, 2016 and didn't notice it was left unpublished until this glorious day, this 1st of January 2017. So just imagine all of this happened about 9 months ago. Okay, that's it. Bye!
Hai der, I'm back from Europe! 3 weeks, 7 cities, and more beer and wine than I can remember (seriously).
I could write an essay on my trip, but in 2016 people don't want essays. They want .gifs and listicles (and AWFUL word, btw. Makes me think of testicles with a lisp). So I will summarize my experience in each city as a tweet, or 140 characters.
Stayed in a prostitute neighborhood. No one speaks English. Pretty. 100 things to see, but is the Eiffel Tower really worth 3 hours in line?
Rainy but still gorgeous. Cute AF. Cobblestones. Half German. Petite Paris is a teeny wonderland of pretty buildings. Drank by myself a lot.
Borderline life changing. Felt like home. Weird/fun/cheap city of art, decay & hidden treasures. Ruin bars & spa baths were worth the hype.
Partied w locals in a piazza. Killed the Trastavere bar scene & rejected pushy Italian men. The ruins do actually feel like a time capsule.
5. Florence (+San Gimignano/Sienna/Chianti)
Florence was so-so bc it was rainy but the Tuscan countryside is SO ABSURDLY BEAUTIFUL. First legit Italian pizza: amazing but never again.
Equal parts breathtaking and touristy. Rode the water bus around all day for fun. The water is clean and turquoise. Got to chill out here.
7. Milan (...aka Ferno)
Quiet/uneventful town close to the airport where I had 1 unforgettable night of karaoke, met wonderful people, and ordered a vegan sandwich!